Monday, June 18, 2012

Assemble!

I've always been a pretty guarded person. There's an invisible fence that keeps the crazies out. Sometimes it's too effective and I either come off as antisocial or too quiet and serious. Once you get an ID badge and make it inside the perimeter, you'll probably think that I talk too much and liken me to the gremlin who bounced off the walls and came out nutty. Although between you and me, I think he's just discovered the healing power of laughter.

[caption id="attachment_2326" align="alignnone" width="300"] Me: Age 3[/caption]

Anyway, as a general rule I tend to keep about five close friends. Anything more than that is hard to manage and a logistical nightmare. In recent years however, I've had to let some people go. They weren't bad people or anything. They were hard workers and great when we were in the start-up phase, but once we went public (got married) and started having to answer to shareholders (the baby) I found that they just weren't aligned with my vision of where the company was headed. They got a lovely severance package though. Hell, some are like Milton from Office Space and don't even know that they've been fired.

But this leads to a new problem. We're severely short staffed and I've been totally lackadaisical in the hiring process. That's where my wife comes in. She's taken it upon herself to do the recruiting and she's kinda gone Agent Coulson on me. For the non-geeks, that's the guy in the suit in Iron Man, Thor and the Avengers movie. She's set off on her own roaming from place to place looking for people to bring into our organization. Preferably married people with kids under the age of 40.

[caption id="attachment_2327" align="alignnone" width="259"] I promise she looks better than this in real life[/caption]

Well this weekend she discovered Thor's Hammer in the middle of Southeast. Not only did she find a nice interracial couple with a kid (that's like a two for one special because our team is in serious need of diversity), but apparently their kid's mutant power supersedes that of my kid. My daughter knows a few hundred words and is handy with a sniper rifle, but their kid can speak in complete sentences, dance and bend spoons with her mind. Plus she's a few months younger than my daughter.

Now personally I think we should do like they do in Highlander and make the two of them have a sword fight in the middle of Anacostia Park. (In the end there can be only one) But my wife thinks that it would be more logical for me to pull my eye patch and leather coat out of storage and go do my Sam Jackson/Nick Fury routine.

[caption id="attachment_2330" align="alignnone" width="214"] Hey kid, I want to talk to you about The Avengers Initiative[/caption]

It sounds promising, so I think I'll give it a try. If we can't save the Earth, you can be damned sure we'll avenge it.

2 comments:

  1. TheOneandonly's ONLYJune 18, 2012 at 6:50 AM

    Bravo Sir.

    ReplyDelete
  2. [...] specimen: Wonderbaby. That’s the little girl that I wrote about before who’s four or five months younger [...]

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