Endure

For the last seven minutes and forty three seconds I lay on the floor staring up at the ceiling, tears in my eyes, as I writhed in excruciating pain. Then it hit me, no one should be forced to endure this agony. To my left stood a six foot tall wooden DVD shelf that I constructed by hand. If I could somehow pull that on top of myself, the weight of the shelf alone would be enough to kill me. In battle they call it a mercy kill.

I made my peace with God and outstretched my hand, but then I thought of my wife and daughter. I couldn't move on to the next realm knowing that for the rest of their lives they'd wonder "why?" I love them too much to not leave a note. After two minutes of rocking left and right I managed to roll over onto my stomach. Using just my left arm and the limited function of my right leg, I managed to crawl over to the bar where my laptop sits. It took a while, but eventually I was able to pull myself up on the bar stool and eventually grab the laptop.

As I began writing my goodbye letter, a wave of emotion befell me. In that moment I realized just how much determination it took to make it from the floor to the computer. If I could make it this far, then certainly I could press on. No, I wouldn't kill myself today. Instead, I would exact revenge on the person who put me in this situation in the first place.

Evil has a name and it is Tony Horton, inventor of the P90X. It is because of him and his Ab Ripper X that I found myself strewn out on the floor while chants of "take a break if you need" taunted me from the television screen. Yeah, "anyone can do it" my ass! This from the man who probably runs the Boston Marathon as a cooldown lap from his job of picking up cars for a living.

I will find him. I will burn his home to the ground and I will salt the earth so that no other evil can grow there again. But first...."Wiggle your big toe."

[caption id="attachment_2266" align="alignnone" width="600"] Dramatic re-enactment of what I'm going through right now[/caption]