Victory!

[caption id="attachment_2351" align="alignnone" width="604"] Goal #23 Completed: Get in the newspaper before age 30 for something not related to crime[/caption]

Soooo yesterday a friend posted a message on my Facebook page asking if it was me in the Washington Post Express talking about the Air Kuntas from Adidas. I had no clue what he was talking about, but I did recall writing a blog post about it the day before. It couldn't be me though, because I only get about 30 visitors to this site a day. Plus, I curse waaaay to much to make the newspaper. But then he posted another message saying, "I only know one Ordale J Allen."

It was like the DC Earthquake all over again. My heart started racing, I scooped up the baby and headed for the door...only to turn right back around because I realized that I didn't have any shoes on. I sprinted out the door, down the hall, down the elevator and out the front door to the Express box outside. I sat the baby on top of the newspaper thing and started flipping through it.

Sure as hell, on page 28, was a quote from this very blog and my name underneath. I did the Tiger Woods fist pump thing, the Michael Jordan "just won the championship" leap up in the air and then proceeded to grab every copy out of the box. I ran back in the house and called everyone I could think of and with the exception of my wife, not a single person answered (job-having bastards!). So me and the baby just danced around the house to Prince's "Baby I'm A Star."

Now I know what you're thinking...It was just an excerpt. It was just The Express and that thing is free. All I know is that a year ago I had two daily readers and six months ago that number "shot up" to thirty. Today I was in The Express. If I continue at this pace, I'll finally get to fulfill my childhood dream of guest starring on Arsenio. (You know his new show starts next year, right?)

I don't know who's responsible for putting me in the paper or how you stumbled across my blog in the first place, but if you're reading this...
(in my Jackson Five, Victory Tour singing voice)
"Weeeeeeeeee Thank Yooooooou"