Dear Comcast

Dear Comcast Cable,

Please excuse the crudeness of this letter. You see, I'm typing this from my cell phone because my cable and internet have been disconnected. The iPhone is great in many ways, but it could use some work with the spacing of its letters. I have fat fingers so I'm prone to make errors.

Having my cable cut off isn't that big of a deal. It is a luxury item after all and I could probably buy a small village of those hungry kids for what I pay in cable/internet fees each month.

No, I'm not mad that you cut my cable off. I'm mad that you cut my cable off even though I'm not a Comcast customer. I have RCN Cable. When was the last time Verizon cut off someone's Sprint service?

Do you realize the tens of fans I have on my blog who are probably worried about me? I was supposed to tell them about my journey to Sesame Place and how I fought Elmo and his minions to preserve my daughter's honor. You've robbed them of that Comcast.

Now I'm spending the last day of my vacation waiting for RCN to show up and Quantum Leap my cable (strive to put right what once went wrong). Even my random analogies don't work through the phone. I need my cable internet back.

In short, you suck.