Damn. On the same day that I post my rant about Sesame Street taking advantage of me with their live performance prices a report comes out that Kevin Clash (Elmo) is taking a leave of absence following allegations that he had a relationship with a 16 year old boy. The accuser is now 23, and apparently Clash doesn't deny their relationship, but he insists that nothing happened until the boy was of legal age.
I don't know if it's true or not, but why put yourself in that situation in the first place? I had a teacher in school that everyone suspected of sleeping with his students. There was no proof that he was doing that, but he came into my theater one day on a date with one who'd just graduated. Again, why put yourself in that situation?
It's stuff like this that makes me nervous whenever little kids come around and show some type of interest in me. I don't mean in a sexual way, but just period. I'm silly and I've always been good with kids. Perhaps it stems from my being the family babysitter starting around six or seven years old, but for whatever reason kids always seem to find me entertaining. Unfortunately, there are too many pedophiles in the world and I refuse to be mistaken as being one.
Kids on the playground try to play with me and my daughter because I'm an enigma to them. Half the nannies sit around talking to one another while the kids eat the sand in the sandbox. If their real parents are there then they sit around on their phones doing work. Kids see me army crawling down the slide behind my daughter or hanging upside down off the monkey bars and they quickly gravitate towards the fun guy...and I quickly fling their little asses right back out of our orbit.
"Mister, can you put me on the monkey bars too?"
"Absolutely not. Go find your real parents."
"Can I play with you guys?"
"In this little toy house with me, a grown man, that's just out of sight of your father? Hell no. Go finish licking leaves or whatever it is that you were doing."
Maybe it's paranoia or overreacting, but if Michael Jackson had been half as paranoid then things would've gone completely different for him. If I were famous and it was a kid's dying wish to meet me, then I'd meet him at a Popeyes or something, buy him a two-piece and throw in an extra biscuit. That's it. We're not climbing trees together and you're sure as hell not spending the night at my house. I don't care if your family was homeless. I'd visit you at the shelter and the press could take pictures of me presenting you guys with a space heater.
You won't catch me slipping.
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