It's 11PM Wed Nov 28th. I'm sick again because I took my daughter to a birthday party last weekend where one of the children was an Outbreak monkey in disguise. She had a runny nose on Monday and I knew something was up. I was praying that it was just the cold air. I knew she was sick when I put all her toys up and they stayed in the same spot all day long. If she were one of the X-Men, her mutant power would be the ability to take a cold and strengthen that shit so that by the time you catch it from her...it's smallpox. She's sick, but I'm sicker.
My wife got home around 6:30 and both of us were knocked out on the couch. The thing is, I don't remember even sitting down on the couch. I think I collapsed in the kitchen somewhere and my daughter carried me to the couch. My head hurts, throat hurts, fingernails hurt. I'm coughing and sneezing simultaneously so my lungs hurt. Right now I have on sweat pants, a hoodie and a hat. The heat is on 85 and I have a space heater on and I'm still cold, but have a fever.
So why am I still up then? I can give you 550 million reasons. Powerball. Talk all the shit you want about the lottery being for fools. I will gladly spend $2 on the off chance that I MIGHT win half a billion. I'm good when it comes to defying the odds. Hell, I'm the sperm that made it. Out of the estimated 280 million swimmers, I was the one smart enough to bring a jackhammer. If I don't win...meh, whatever. But if I do win...you can say goodbye to Mentalstorage.com, because I'm going into hiding. I know too many grimy people to stay visible.
But let me not reveal my secrets. Just know this: If there's no post tomorrow, be happy for me...or send some flowers to the "Outbreak" ward at GW Hospital.
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