Revelations

So the reason I've been so stressed lately and these posts have been kinda shitty is because my grandmother was in the hospital. Frequent readers should know just how important she is to me and understand why I kinda put this on the back burner. I've spent the last (I don't know how many) days going to the hospital. My wife thinks I was devoid of all emotion and she basically just stood back waiting for me to explode. In the Men of Brewster Place (Yes, there was a male version), Gloria Naylor wrote something along the lines of: Men cry on the inside. It's only after every single space has been filled that the tears rise up and over the lids of their eyes and stream down their faces.

It sounded better when she said it, but you get the point. It bothered me a great deal, but my grandmother doesn't make it easy to feel bad. Don't misinterpret that as her being exceptionally jovial and good natured. Far from that. This is the same woman who saw me being chased by a dog and told me to run the other way so that it wouldn't chase her too. She spent most of the time cursing each of her children out. It was when she started telling me not to worry about her and listing possessions that she wanted me to give to different people that I found myself sitting in the parking lot crying the hardest. But after five minutes in the room and hearing her say:

"I've been laying up here looking at you and I just don't understand how it is that you can be as old as you are and aint gotten no taller than you were when you were a little boy. It just don't make no sense. Why the hell are you so short? And then for you to go out and find someone to marry that's even shorter than you. It just seems silly. At least if you married somebody tall, you might have a chance of your child being regular height."

And people wonder where my "sparkling" personality comes from. Suffice to say, she's getting closer to being her regular self. And that's a scary thought. Now she'll probably slice my throat for saying this, but...she had a kidney infection that sent her into septic shock during the operation and, while recovering from that, she got pneumonia in the hospital and a day later had a heart attack. A day and a half later they discharged her from the hospital. My grandmother is immortal.

And she isn't one of those wimpy ass Twilight vampires either. She is the thing that goes bump in the night. (She is the one who knocks) When she found out that she had to spend the night in the hospital after the first surgery (because her kind are totally fine having surgery and going home the same day) she cursed every nurse out and said (Direct quote here) "I'm not staying in this hospital. I don't care if there's police watching the door or not. They gonna have to put bullets in me and shoot me down dead, because that's the only way I'm staying in this hospital tonight. These people keep treating me like I'm some kind of trash off the street. Call down to my church and ask about me, then you'll know who you're dealing with."

In my head I'm thinking, "Just open a bible. There's a whole book about her at the end."