Frankenstorm

Call me a skeptic, but the whole time I was in Target yesterday I couldn't help but stare at the people filling their carts with canned goods, water and batteries and think to myself, "WE MUST PREPARE FOR THE COMING OF GOZER!" It's a storm. Not a "Frankenstorm," not "The Perfect Storm," just a storm. I'm certain that I sound like one of the people laughing at Noah while he was at Home Depot buying lumber, nails and ostrich cages, but I just don't think all of this media coverage is healthy. There's a fine line between warning people and scaring the shit out of people.

[caption id="attachment_2873" align="alignnone" width="604"] Literally scaring the shit out of people[/caption]

I just think that sometimes the folks from Home Depot slide a little cash to the weather guys and we get Snowpocalypses and Frankenstorms.

Here's my prediction:

It will rain. Wind will blow. Trees will fall. Power will go out. Then...
People who live below sea level will complain about flooding.
People who live near trees will complain about toppled trees.
People with electricity that comes through a "power line" that runs through "trees" will marvel at the large-scale second grade science project when a tree falls on top of a power line and "un-completes" a circuit.
Grocery store and hardware store owners will dance in the streets.

Seriously, I hope no one gets hurt, but don't go insane out there. I saw people stocking up on steaks. That's great if you live in a house with a gas range, but I followed some of those people up the street and into my apartment building where all of us eat off of electric stoves. Maybe they have a table top grill in the trunk of their car like me, but I hope they also have a coal powered fridge.

I stockpiled Chef Boyardee only because I have a two year old who's grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle and expects to eat every single day. As for me and the lady...there's always peanut butter and jelly.