Verify Eligibility?

I'm just venting right now. Feel free to not even read this.

My wife just got a letter in the mail from her job asking her to "verify dependent eligibility." That's code for "prove these people are related to you before we put them on your insurance." What the hell? This is about as "first world problem-ish" as things can get. I should just be happy that we live in a place with running water, lights and jobs that offer discounted insurance...but I'm still a little peeved.

Now I'm sure everybody at her job got one, that is everyone with dependents. I don't believe we were unfairly targeted in any way, but is the economy that bad nowadays? It only bothers me because I used to work for (Big Brother Almiiiigh-ty) Health Insurance Company. In fact, (potential employers looking to hire me) I was the manager of our Employer Service Line division consisting of ninety-eight representatives. I know the ins and outs of enrollment and billing policies.

With that said...REALLY? You want me to send you a birth certificate to prove that "Baby Allen" is the daughter of "Wife Allen?" And then when it comes to me, it's not enough to send in a marriage certificate. You broke it down into columns. "One item from Column B and one item from Column C." REALLY? The thought never even crossed my mind that divorcees would game the system and claim their exes on their plan.

This letter exposes just how dysfunctional and unorganized our family is. I don't have a copy of last year's tax returns. Somebody in this family (who shall remain nameless) still hasn't updated the driver's license to show the new address so I can't prove it through that. We went paperless so I don't have a printed copy of my bank statement, although I guess I could print one out, but then I gotta go buy a ream of paper. We're gonna get divorced arguing about stuff before we get verified.

And all of this comes on top of the insurance rates going up but the benefits going down. Don't get me wrong, the benefits are way better than they could be. I used to see some really crappy policies come across my desk at Big Brother Insurance. I talked to a guy who had a $10k deductible for everything. I don't even know why he had insurance. But, as an employee...<Insert Praise Dance> My plan was only seven dollars a month and the benefits were so good that if someone shot me, they would hire a stunt double to come in and take the bullet for me.

But that was then and this is now. Health insurance costs continue to rise, the economy sucks and companies have to cut costs wherever possible. Back then we knew that people were probably dumping fake relatives on their plans, so I can see the rationale. And based on my insider information of how much these plans cost the employers, they'd be fools not to check. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.

And now that my house is in complete disorder, because we have no proof that we're still married...I just need someone to blame. So I blame you, "Company That Shall Go Unnamed Because My Wife Needs A Job Because Only One Of Us Is Working!"