Giving Ski Lessons

Random Memory #12: My first and only ski lesson

By now, everyone knows that I integrated Kayaking, and most of you know that it was a followup to my integrating skiing and ice skating. But, I don't want you guys to walk away from this blog thinking that I'm superhuman and without flaws. So I'm gonna pull back the curtain and reveal some vulnerability.

The first time I ever skied was in elementary school at the tender age of eight. I went back a few more times, but retired from the sport when I was eleven (I graduated from elementary school and my middle school never went). Sometime in the tenth grade I decided to go on the ski trip up to Killington, VT.

Up until then, my skiing experiences all took place at Ski Liberty in Pennsylvania. Compared to Killington, the slopes at Ski Liberty are the equivalent of going down a handicapped ramp on the sidewalk. But I didn't know that at the time, and throughout the entire 11 hour bus ride I channeled Muhammad Ali a little too much: "I am the greatest! I don't even need skis. I can go down in some church shoes."

The minute I got there and saw what I thought was the summit and someone told me that it was just the bunny slope...I knew I was in trouble. But I had to double down. I had convinced this girl to stick with me, because I was gonna teach her how to ski. I liked the girl and it was a four-day high school trip with only two chaperones. Obviously I had certain...aspirations, but the best way to control teenage hormones is to get to the top of a ski slope and to look a girl in the eye and say "Don't worry, I got you. Now look at my feet. To slow down, you need to make a wedge with your feet."

Now, after saying that, I look up and realize that she is much further away than she was when I first looked down. I see her mouthing something, but I can't really hear it. It looks like "Help Me," but I can't really be sure. I instantly realize that when I said, Look at me," she didn't turn her head like a normal person would've. Instead, she turned her whole body (feet and all) to face me. In doing so, her skis lined up with the slope of the hill and she is now skiing backwards down the hill.

And that's where hormones come in. On the one hand, if I catch her then I'm a hero and I'm definitely gonna have a nice evening, but on the other hand, I haven't actually skied in like four years. Come to think of it, I've never been on a mountain this size and, rather  impressively, she's now veering over toward the blue square/black diamond area. The guys from the Hormone Department had an emergency meeting with the guys from the Self-Preservation Department. There was a lot of back and forth, but ultimately they decided to let her go.

I won't lie, I was a little nervous when we got back to the bus and no one had seen her the whole day, but it turns out that she came to rest in a group of people taking beginner's ski lessons (I'm not making this up) and the instructor let her join the group after hearing what happened. Personally, I saw that as God's will, but she didn't. She cursed me out when she finally made it to the bus and didn't speak to me the rest of the trip. It didn't matter. Right after she disappeared from view, who came off the ski lift alone? A girl that I really, really liked.

"Weren't you with ____, Ordale? I think I just saw her going down the hill."
"No, she was going to do her own thing. I'm riding dolo. Where's your little troupe?"
"They're scared. I'm going up to the top. You wanna come with me?"
"Why, yes I do."