Criminal of the Month: CAUGHT!

You know that little jingle they play when someone loses a game on The Price is Right? It's like a trombone or something. Anyway...I heard that in my head the moment I read this article saying that our good friend the Nuclear Bank Robber has been caught in Texas near the Mexican border. If you missed my shout out to him a few weeks ago then you can read it here.

[caption id="attachment_2002" align="alignnone" width="296" caption="It was all good just a week ago."][/caption]

Look at that face. And that hair! No chemicals there, only juices and berries. I feel like Uncle Ruckus when I say this but..."Nigga didn't I tell you they was gonna find you? Praise White Jesus!" lol

Seriously though, it hasn't even been a month. I wrote the post on February 28th. You couldn't go 30 days without getting caught? Bin Laden managed to elude the US government for ten years and he didn't have half the genius that you have with your nuclear bomb building self. And Mexico!? Really? Been watching a lot of bank heist movies lately, have we? The bad guys always head for Mexico. Yeah, that ALWAYS works.

My question to you is this: It's been three weeks. Why the hell did they find you in Texas near the Mexican border instead of on the other side of the Mexican border? What the hell were you doing all this time? This is what my teachers used to warn me about when they said that Black people can't afford to waste time. Seriously man, you were the best of us. You were the Jackie Robinson of super villainry. You integrated the sport, man. Hall of Fame all the way. It was Dr. Evil from Austin Powers, Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget and you, the Nuclear Bank Robber with a heart of gold that prevented him from decimating entire cities as long as he got twenty-eight dollars from the teller at Capital One.

It's in moments like these that I'm reminded of a quote from John Greenleaf Whittier:

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, "It might have been."

PS.
I know one thing, you better hope that perm grows out before you get to prison.