Mocha Svelte

I haven't had much time to post anything lately. I've been running around a lot. Literally. It's awkward to talk about break-ups and divorces and people dying. Well, actually it's not awkward for me to talk about it. I guess what I mean is that it's probably awkward for you, the reader. I've been there on the receiving end before. What sounds like humor could really be cries for help or something. You never know if you should laugh or call someone. I guess you just have to take me at my word when I say that you can put the phone down for this next one: I kinda wish I'd capitalized on that divorce/break-up/heartache thing a little more.

I was too caught up in being sad and feeling betrayed to really appreciate the positives of what was going on. I'd never gone through it before, but now that I'm on the other side of it, I look back and see all of the pictures I took during the spring. The first thing that comes to mind is...Damn I was skinny!

Now if you've never seen me before in person (the beauty will captivate you), then let me describe myself to you. I'm very pretty in a handsome way. I'm an Ikea mocha dresser color, and I look tall if you kneel down at the base of a hill. Weight-wise, I'm....I don't know. In my head I'm stocky, but most people say I'm average. I don't have low self worth or anything. Clearly, anyone who describes himself in the pantheon of do-it-yourself furniture has high self esteem. I just remember what it was like when I ran track and was really, really skinny. Back then I looked like a crackhead. Now I just look like a recovering crackhead.

Anyway, right after "the fall" I lost about 20-25 lbs. It just happened. I wasn't hungry. Too busy crying and moping around. But I remember the day that I went into Nordstrom and tried on clothes. I realized that I dropped three pant sizes. I remember thinking, "Man, if only I could afford to buy something out of here." So then I went to TJ Maxx and balled out of control. I was svelte! And I never get to use that word enough when it comes to describing myself.

Two weeks ago I went back to Nordstrom to pretend that I had money, and the same shirt that I said I'd come back to buy in the fall didn't fit like it did in the summer. There's a quart where my six pack used to be. So that prompted me to go for a run...like, immediately. I don't have a car anymore, so I ran home from the train. Since that time, I've been doing my usual 3 mile walk to and from my daughter's school, plus running 3 miles a day, and riding my bike whenever possible.

I lost five pounds last week, which is cool, but I had to work for it. That sucks. Like alimony, I've become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. I should just be able to listen to a Mary J Blige song or something, and then lose all desire to eat for two or three days. So anyway, I say all of this for two reasons:

1) I had nothing else to write about, but my readership has doubled in the past three months, and I don't want to lose you fine people. I had to write something!

2) It's encouraging to put your weight loss goals on the internet, because it forces you to stick with it out of sheer fear of embarrassment after talking a good game. I could've just put this in a Facebook post, but my friends have that on lock with their Runkeeper posts and their "I think I just invented cooking" food pictures.

So after all of that plus running behind a three year old who runs on nuclear power...I'm tired. But guess what, I'm not gon' cry, I'm not gon' cry, I'm not gon' shed no tears. (Damn, doesn't work anymore. Guess I'll go do a sit up or something.)