And they said it couldn't be done!
This past Friday I finally put to bed the notion that no one could possibly walk around New York for 14 hours straight AND spend less than $20. It's that close mindedness that led people to believe that the world was flat. Only a visionary like myself--and maybe a few homeless people--would be able to accomplish such a feat. Seriously though, I had a good time.
Now I've been to New York plenty of times, but this was only my second time as an adult. As a kid, I went up there to visit my grandmother's side of the family a few times a year, but we always got the Underground Railroad treatment. We left and arrived at night. We went inside someone's house and never came back out. Everyone kept coming by to see us, welcome us and tell us how much better things are up North. Everybody greets you like you're Nettie and Celie from the end of The Color Purple. "Me and you will never part..."
Anyway, it was my first time being able to actually tour NYC on my own. The experience was...an experience. I was in the city a full 28 seconds before I saw someone get arrested inside Penn Station. I like that. Set expectations low right from the get go. Under promise and oversell! Shortly after that, I saw a cop curse out a woman pushing a stroller. In the cop's defense, the lady was like a foot outside of the crosswalk. "Hey, get your kid back inside the crosswalk. One of these cars will plow her right over and then you gonna be upset because your kid got killed." The baby didn't really understand what she was saying, but I think it terrified the five year old who was beside her.
A blind woman turned to face the guy standing next to me at the crosswalk and said, "Please let me know if any cars are coming." He and I both had a mild heart attack, because she was saying this while walking against the light and in the path of this speeding car. He stopped her and rather than say thank you, she got an attitude. "I told you to let me know."
I must say that I have never seen a higher concentration of beautiful women anywhere else. Now they had an equal number of changelings, but the pretty ones were breathtaking. I fell in and out of love on every block, but the one who captured my heart was this gorgeous 5'2 latina wearing a white and red sundress. She had that classic kind of beauty. And up until she punched her boyfriend in the face, I was in love.
I don't know what happened. They were holding hands walking my direction under one of the arches in Central Park and then I heard her say,"Who the fuck you think you talkin to? I'm not no little punk. I'll fuckin punch you in the face. Don't play with me. You ain't no man. You ain't gonna do shit to me." And then she just walloped him in the side of his temple. It was like watching Ali's shadow punch. I saw her hit him with a right hook, but his body stammered to the left, which leads me to think that she was really a southpaw and that thing was fast.
When I wasn't watching people attack one another, I walked...a lot. I walked the Brooklyn Bridge and about five miles into Brooklyn before things started to get too elephant graveyard for me. Then I turned back, walked to the Staten Island ferry and took a free ride past the Statue of Liberty. I came back and walked from Battery Park through and to the northernmost edge of Central Park. Then I turned around and went back to Times Square. And that was just a few of the 14 hours.
Suffice to say, there isn't a part of Manhattan that my feet didn't touch. I think I earned the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Junior Montgomery Bus Boycott Merit Badge. I don't even wanna know how far you have to walk to unlock the Runaway Slave achievement.
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