
It's supposed to be 91 degrees today and my apartment complex hasn't switched us over to A/C yet. Who can blame them? It is...APRIL! I've said it before and I'll say it again. I really think that Mother Nature is going through "the change" and all we can do is just stay out of her way.
So here above is a photo of what I like to call, "The Little Fan That Could." I'm too cheap to go out and buy a bigger one because, well, central air is a feature that drives my rent to where it is. Plus, considering my neighborhood, putting an old box fan in the window might just get me deported back to Southeast.
Oh, and pay no mind to my daughter's makeshift Disney cot in the corner. Eventually she'll upgrade to not only a real twin bed, but a bedroom all of her own. But until the evil wizard, Daycare, stops siphoning my money...she better be grateful she's allowed in the room.
I won't say any names, but I knew a guy once (who looked exactly like me) whose mama used to use access to her air conditioned room as some kind of reward for good behavior. I don't think my mother meant any harm. Maybe she was just trying to build character, but there is nothing meaner than saying, "It's hot in here. I'm going to lay down" and then closing your air conditioned bedroom door and leaving your child out in the Sahara living room.
Being the Doc Brown wannabe that I was, I used to try and make my own A/C. First, I tried putting a bowl of ice cubes and bags frozen vegetables in front of the window fan. That didn't work. Then I sat a fan on the nightstand and pointed it my direction. I had a little spray bottle in my hand and I would mist myself every two or three minutes. Didn't work.
Finally I came up with the idea that I used from 3rd grade to my last day at home before college: Take a shower, don't dry off, drink a quart of water and lay down in front of a fan in nothing but boxers and pray you fall asleep before you dry off. And that works!
You have a 4 minute window to fall asleep before you dry off completely. You will sweat throughout the night, especially if you live in an old house with windows that don't open like my grandmother's house, but that's what the quart of water is for. Anytime you can drink that much water and not wake up to use the bathroom...you're sweating profusely. But it does wonders for the pores and my skin is flawless.
So anyway, yeah my daughter has a Disney prison cot, but at least she gets to share in the majesty that is the Little Fan That Could. Although, knowing her, while I'm sleep she'll just take it down and turn it to face her. I can't hate. I may or may not have switched off the circuit breaker to my mother's room once or twice to help her appreciate the sahara along with me.
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