It is 5:45 in the morning. This is my sixth time waking up since going to bed at midnight. Yeah, I'm nervous. My daughter starts daycare today. My most recent dream had her teacher turning around to pick up something off the desk and my daughter running over to a closet that turned out to be an old bank vault that closed and my daughter got trapped inside. They called me in because I used to work at a bank, and apparently I was more qualified to get her out than any of the billions of other people in my dream world.
Before that dream, they were taking them all on their daily walk, but the teachers thought it'd be faster to cut through a dimly lit underground parking garage. You can use your imagination to guess how that turned out. Yep, I'm nervous. I'll just do my best to conceal it when we leave in an hour. I suppose this is payback for the person that I used to be.
Long before this whole Daddy Daycare thing, I was the type who figured people needed to cut the cord. My grandmother first sent me to the liquor store to buy her a pack of cigarettes when I was about five. The first time I spoke to someone who told me they had a babysitter for their twelve year old...let's just say I wasn't very sympathetic. I find myself trying to strike a balance between my childhood and paranoia. It's an uphill battle.
Interestingly enough, I remember my first day of school. The night before it rained, which meant my mother and I slept in the living room (Our ceiling leaked in the bedroom). I remember that right before I went to bed she said, "Guess what, you're going to school tomorrow." I was so excited. Not sure why, because the fact that I pictured myself flying in an Elroy Jetson capsule to a school above the clouds proves that I knew nothing about DC Public Schools or Head Start.
The next day my grandmother walked me down to the school and I was so excited. My father had pumped the idea into my head at an early age that I was a genius. That was his explanation for my being able to read so many different books. Unbeknownst to him, they were books on record that I'd memorized right along with the chime that signaled when to turn the page. Anyway, I remember getting to school and being super excited to learn. Then disaster struck.
"I'll see you later, Ordale."
You'll do what! Where the hell are you going?
At no point did anyone explain that school was a personal adventure. I was thinking more Fellowship of the Ring and they were on some lonely traveler thing. I screamed and hollered to high hell. I was a male version of Nettie from The Color Purple. WHYYYY? Only death can keep me from her!!! My grandmother told me that she'd stay. Then about an hour later she said she had to use the bathroom and told me to finish singing "If You're Happy and You Know It" with the other kids.
It took her six hours to come back from the bathroom. The next day she forgot her coffee and would be right back. Six hours later, she came back. Eventually I caught on, but it took a while. I'll skip the formalities and just tell my daughter the truth...I just got an urgent call from Elmo and he needs me to come feed Dorothy. I'll be right back!
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