Friday, February 10, 2012

Flashback Friday: The Land of Make Believe

What do these three things have in common:

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="187" caption="Not this oneYeah the one that was so badass they called themselves "THE REAL" Ghostbusters"]

Wait for it....

I only knew one little kid who actually had a real He-Man sword. Everybody else just grabbed a broom handle, umbrella or yardstick, put the joint down the back of your shirt and then waited for that scene in the show. Uh oh, some shit's 'bout to go down. C'mon Adam, show em what you about! You stand up on top of the bed or couch and then pull the sword out your back and yell

BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL, I HAVE THE POWEEEER!

Then your mama comes outta nowhere and yells back

Stop jumping on my goddamned couch!

My imagination was great as a kid. My favorite show was Ghostbusters.
[/caption]

I wanted a proton pack so bad but I didn't think they made them and my parents seemed to live by the unwritten rule of "If the kid doesn't know the toy exists then don't tell him." Since I didn't know they existed in real life, I applied the He-Man broomstick factor and made my own.

I took an umbrella, my backpack, an old phone cord and a Happy Meal box and made myself a proton pack. No pictures of this fine example of childish determination exists so let me describe it to you. I tied one end of the phone cord to the umbrella, ran it through the straps of my backpack and then took the other end of the phone cord and tied it to the handle of the happy meal box. I then folded the Happy Meal box up into a neat little square and put it in my pocket along with the excess phone cord. The umbrella was one of those old cheap black "automatic" umbrellas with a hook on it so I just hooked it onto the little loop on the top of my backpack.

I am now a Ghostbuster. My porch is our fire station. What Janine, we have a call? Let me jump down the porch steps because in my head that is the equivalent of sliding down the fire station pole. The ghosts will be expecting me in Ecto-1 (the car) or Ecto-2 (the helicopter) so I'm going to surprise them and show up in Ecto-3 (my big wheel).

I have now arrived at the tree near the alley. Lucky for me the ghost is by this tree because this is as far as my grandmother will let me go down the street. Let me recite the famous Ghostbuster mantra as seen in the movie:
Grab your stick. Holdin it! (pulls umbrella off backpack)
Heat em up! Smokin! (Grasps umbrella lookin serious)
Aiming pod! Ready! (Getting in my stance)
Let's show this prehistoric "B" how we do things downtown. (Pushes button on umbrella to make it extend and pretends to be shooting a hard to control proton pack while making a constipated face and rocking left to right.)

It is now time to put the ghost in the trap. I shall reach into my pocket, pull out the trap (Happy Meal Box) and throw it under the ghost. (The Happy Meal box slightly unfolds on the ground which is close enough to the trap opening.) I then pretend to shield my eyes as the trap closes (Box never refolds) and then pick it up and walk back to my big wheel with pride singing the Ghostbuster theme song.

After being repeatedly embarrassed at the sight of me doing this, my father bought me the actual proton pack toy for my 6th birthday. I never saw the backpack version again.

[caption id="attachment_1756" align="alignnone" width="400" caption="I aint afraid of no ghost."][/caption]
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)