Monday, January 2, 2012

Where Did Jack Frost Touch You?

They're ice skating in hell right now. It is ungodly cold outside right now. The thermometer on the sign at the bank says 25, but that's just the temperature at which the thing gave up and stopped working. I've been in the house for an hour now and my legs are still cold. If for whatever reason you're reading this before heading out to work, call out sick. I know it's the day after a holiday and a three day weekend, it's cold enough to risk losing your job.

I remember going to Chicago a few years ago and it was like 35 degrees when our plane touched down. We should've known something was up because the lake was frozen solid. The next morning there was ice on the inside of our hotel window. The high that day was two degrees with a wind chill of minus seventeen. I went outside in my BIG coat, hat, gloves, boots and scarf and face mask looking like a Himalayan ninja. I turned the corner and a gust of wind came through and...let's just say that if this was court they'd hand me a doll and ask me to point to where I was violated.

I'd go through that again compared to what it felt like outside this morning. So yeah, call out sick.

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