Flashback Fridays: Yooo Joe!

Remember this:



 

That's the most badass intro for a cartoon in the history of badassery and cartoons. By the time the intro went off I was ready to go punch something, do pushups or something. Back in the 80s, kids couldn't wait to go outside and play after watching an action packed cartoon like GI Joe, Thundercats, He-Man, Silverhawks or Transformers.

Then came this:

[caption id="attachment_1643" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="An aerobics gang"][/caption]

This is when cartoons began dying. Everything became a live action show with out of place morals and a damaging lack of realism. First off, compare the two. The Power Rangers took place in the nicest suburb in California. The villains conveniently spare every living soul and every fight takes place in some desert looking setting. There is no military, no coast guard, no police, just six people dressed up like condoms and the toughest guy in the group fought with a flute.

Now I'm not advocating violence or anything, but since we're gonna have a show that involves fighting marketed to kids, why not be a little more realistic in its depiction? Unlike the villains on Power Rangers, Cobra fought wherever they could do the most damage: blowing up a dam, blowing up a hospital or, in the case of the movie intro, blowing up the Statue of Liberty and every innocent person on Liberty Island.

Of course that sounds a bit harsh, but does it not mirror our fears of today? The way I see it, it teaches kids to be mindful of terrorism, but there's another lesson to be learned:

People die

[caption id="attachment_1606" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Even the guy who turns into a gun has a gun"][/caption]




Cartoons in the 80s taught us that guns, bombs and weapons kill people. Optimus Prime got shot and, guess what, Optimus Prime died. Duke got shot, Duke almost died. The next few episodes, Duke was in recovery. Power Rangers taught that you can get stabbed and all that will happen is a bunch of sparks shoot out of your chest, but you'll be fine. Thus began the era of kids becoming lobotomized drones needing a warning label and helping hand to keep them from killing themselves. 

Fast forward to today and I find myself wondering just what today's cartoons have to offer. There's a giant sponge who lives in a pineapple and fights grease with his friend Palmolive. There's a show called Yo Gabba Gabba that teaches kids what it feels like to drop acid. No wonder kids are so screwed up these days. Now I know...