When it comes to New York, they say that if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. Well, I'm from DC and if you can make it here then you better leave while you're still ahead. What the hell is wrong with the people in this city?
For eight long years I wallowed in sorrow in North Carolina, constantly complaining about missing home. I get back here and in just three short years I'm ready to snap "Moses" stick off a tree and go Old Testament on this place. What happened? This place is crazy as hell. From the little bad ass kids fighting on the subway to somebody getting shot at the gas station.
Hold up! Who the hell discharges a firearm near combustible liquid?
People are getting shot on the bus. A woman was raped downtown in her car with her one year old son sitting in the backseat.
What kind of sick son of a...forget it.
I grew up here during the 80s and 90s. We were the murder capital, the mayor was on crack and going to the playground was about as dangerous as going to war. I remember one of my teachers in elementary school teaching us about drugs by taking us outside on the playground and walking around pointing at the syringes on the ground saying, "If you come across these, don't ever touch them." Still, I felt safer then than I do now.
I have enough to deal with in DC. Besides being a giant target for anyone with a grudge against America, we also have the bigger threat...Metro. They're like the boogeyman or something. You never know when a Metrobus will turn a corner and take out a couple of pedestrians crossing the street or a wheel will fall off one of the trains. Hell, you'd think the escalators were safe but one of those gave out last year and resulted in about 100 people freefalling down to the ground.
Don't get me wrong, I love my city. I haven't left yet, but maybe that's because we have a What's Love Got to Do With It kind of relationship.
Go straight to hell, Ike.
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