Desperate Girls Are Loose!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, going to the mall while wearing my wedding ring and carrying my daughter in my arms is like pulling out the Thundercats sword.

Skeezer...skeezer...skeezer...HO!!!



[caption id="attachment_1224" align="aligncenter" width="319" caption="I don't mean to signal for them."][/caption]

Desperate girls are on the move, desperate girls are loose.
Take their offer, catch some AIDS. Desperate girls are loose.
Skee-zer, skee-zer, skee-zer, skee-zer, SKANK!
Skee-zer, skee-zer, skee-zer, skee-zer, SKANK!


A lady at the grocery store told me that she could tell that I was a good father just by looking at how my daughter smiles at me.
Women can tell those kinds of things. We can tell which men are keepers and which ones aint nothing. Imma be straight up with you, if your wife stops doing her job at home, there are plenty of women working here willing to fill in. You laughing, I'm serious. We been talking about you. All of us noticed you a while ago. That's all Imma say, she better keep it tight at home.


That is the most flattering and yet stalkerish thing anyone has ever said to me. It's funny because I know that if I were to get divorced tomorrow, all interest in me would drop to zero. It's strange how it works. As long as you're a faithful and devoted husband/father, everyone wants you. The minute you take one up on their offer you cease to be devoted and faithful and no one wants you. So I just keep playing my position.