Checkmate.

Soooo we were in the pediatrician's waiting room today waiting for a flu shot when I made the stupid decision to give my daughter my iPhone to keep her still. Even though she was younger than every kid in there, they were somewhat (how do I put this?) siddity and I didn't want her to Fight Club any of them.

They called me up to the counter to sign some papers and I left her in the chair as she dazzled the people sitting around us by knowing how to unlock it, tap the photo app and swipe through pictures. All of a sudden I heard music playing. I could tell by the smiles on their faces that they didn't know what song it was else they would've given me a harsh look right away. Instead the women around her were smiling like, "Oh that must be her favorite song." I tried my best to sign those forms as fast as possible and get that phone outta her hand before the chorus came in.

I failed.

Their adoration turned to admonition as Kanye West blurted out:
Pop champagne. I'll give you a sip
Bout to go dumb. How come?
Yeah that's my bitch!
Yeah that's my bitch!
Shorty right there? That's my bitch!

What made it so bad is that I don't even like that song. It just happened to be the one that came on after New Day, which I do like. So in addition to being judged for a song that I don't even listen to, my daughter makes it worse by clapping and shouting, Yay!, while the song is playing. I can't help but wonder if she actually enjoyed the song or if she was applauding herself for a job well done as she'd exacted revenge for my not allowing her to go play with the other little kids.

You can't beat a chess-playing mind with a checker-player's mentality. I bet my daughter planned this from the minute I told her to sit down next to me.