Ode to Skybus

So apparently there was a little snowstorm that came through and left a bunch of people stranded at the airport. Ahhhh, that brings back memories:

Anyone remember Skybus? I do!

Back in 2008 I had to go to a wedding in Ohio. Skybus was the new airline that was supposed to blow Jet Blue and Southwest out of the water with their $10 fares. To cut costs they didn't have a call center or a staffed window at the airport. The first 10 tickets were $10 and from there the prices went up to like $30 max. I figured I'd give them a chance and that's when I learned that being ghetto isn't limited to race.

First off I had to drive an hour to the smallest airport in Greensboro, NC. Second, when the plane pulled up I noticed that it didn't dock at the terminal. We had to literally walk out of the airport, down the tarmac and walk up a series of ramps to get on the plane. They also hit a metrobus move by painting a huge Nationwide Insurance ad all over the plane. Hey, can't knock the hustle. I get on the plane and get a seat down in front.

All of a sudden a woman in a black sweatsuit walks to the front of the plane. I'm thinking she's a passenger going to the bathroom. Nope. She's the flight attendant. Before starting the safety speech, she tells us that this message was sponsored by Nationwide Insurance and like two other companies. After the speech about exits and flotation devices she gives us the spiel about how Skybus is a little different than most airlines. For starters, no free anything. Pillows were $5, blankets were $10 (but you could keep them as souvenirs). Peanuts were $2, cans of soda were $3 and (here's the kicker) once we reach cruising altitude, the QVC cart would be coming by.

Yep, they were selling jewelry, electronics and clothes on the plane. I slept through that but did wake up just before we landed. The pilot gave the usual "weather, time and thanks for flying" speech but at the end he said (and I'm not making this up) "It's 54 degrees in Columbus today, but a nice 85 in Fort Lauderdale. As a matter of fact, this plane will be heading there from Columbus. For last minute tickets at the bargain of $20 please see the flight attendant and remain on board."

Now if that wasn't ghetto enough for you, guess what happened when I got off? The damn company went bankrupt. I don't mean a week or a month later. No, five minutes after I got off...about the same amount of time it took to walk from the runway to the terminal since they didn't lease gates at airports...I looked up on the TV in the baggage claim and the crawl on the bottom of CNN said, "Skybus files bankruptcy."

The whole drive to the hotel I was thinking, damn I was lucky that I got my flight before they closed down. I guess tomorrow will be my last flight with them. WRONG! That day was my last flight. I got to the hotel and checked on the computer. Their website stated that due to rising fuel costs they were shutting d0wn at midnight. Anyone interested in a refund should call their credit card company to inquire about travel insurance claims.

For the next hour I tried in vain to find a return ticket under $700. I ended up renting a car and driving twelve hours through torrential rain back to NC. When I got to the airport I saw maybe five Skybus planes sitting off the runway with boots on them. I'm not making this up. They had these bright orange covers on the engine that said "Do not move this plane."

It was the most expensive $10 I've ever spent.