Parental Reform, Not School Reform

In an email chat with two of my friends the topic came up about helping disadvantaged kids. The three of us grew up in our own shitty parts of DC and have done pretty well for ourselves. Of the three, one of us is really big on giving back. The other two of us are pretty callous on the matter.

I'm not heartless, I just don't think it's a winnable war--That's the point I was trying to make. I grew up in school with wannabe pimps, thugs and hustlers and many of them graduated into that lifestyle. Most of them aren't around anymore. It's the usual story that you see on any TV drama so I'll fast-forward:

I don't feel any obligation to them.

Back then I tried my best to just get by in school without getting my ass whooped. Being a nerd in a DC Public School is like having a big target on your back that says insert bullet here. That's usually how it ends in urban schools: Ass whooped into submision with the Nigga, I aint shit, so you aint gonna be shit mentality or... you get shot. Maybe you're walking home from school or the grocery store or McDonalds and a bullet accidentally uses you to stop moving. Then they hold a funeral and say, He was a good kid.

I survived that. Thank God, I survived that. Do I really wanna go back into that?

To whom much is given, more is required.

I want to help, I want to make a difference, but something should be said about balance. Is it selfish to want to enjoy the spoils from the war on ignorance? Is it wrong to not want to fight an unwinnable war? I saw Officer Friendly, Sasha Bruce, The Boys and Girls Club and a bunch of other Wonder Brother programs come through my school. They made no difference whatsoever. Change requires 24-hour support. Two hours every Tues and Thursday did nothing but give the peanut gallery something else to chastise the kids about.

So what made me different? Better yet, what's the common denominator between my three friends? We all had strong parental involvement and we went to a nerdy high school. My grandmother would beat my ass if I said the wrong thing out of my mouth. My friends' parents beat them routinely just in case they got away with something that deserved punishment. As far as my high school, there are no thugs when everyone has a minimum 1000 SAT score. Add to that, the fact that the entrance exam included an interview of the parent by the faculty and you can understand what I'm getting at.

Until we get parental reform, school reform is a joke. You can't save kids by putting in two hours a day. That goes for the people who want to help and the people who should be helping--the parents.

Now, if we really want to get serious (or not so serious) about reform, I've come up with a few ideas in my next post. It's the first in a series of perfect world ideas.