Not miPhone

Talk about a shitty day in toontown.

I lost five grand in the market today. My nephew was born and the hospital parking garage was full so I couldn't go in to see him and, to add insult to injury, the Verizon iPhone is announced at the ridiculous price of $699.00.

I hate being right all the time.

Flashback a month and a few days ago...
The wife has been begging for a new cellphone for maybe two years. I'll admit that having a flip phone in 2010 is a bit Flintstone-ish. The agreement was that we'd wait for the iPhone to come to Verizon because we knew AT&T was the Wal-Mart of networks...25 registers cell towers and only one or two actually working.

Anyway, three years later there was still no iPhone and she was starting to lose faith. That's when my jackass friends came over with their fancy smancy Droids. They let me play Angry Birds for the first time and that was the bait that lured me off my perch. My wife convinced me to go to the store and just window shop for some phones. Ten minutes later we had matching Droid X's. Before we signed on the electronic dotted line I told her, "I bet they'll announce the iPhone the day after the 30-day return policy expires. That was December 5th. January 7th (30 and two days later) it was all over the news that Verizon was making an announcement the following week.

So here I am sulking in the reverberating "I told you so" that's playing in my head right now. To add insult to injury, I got the price of the non-discounted iPhone. Now, I was expecting something Droid-like. Hey, it's 200 with a contract and 400-500 if you get one outside of the New Every Two. Steve Jobs has lost his damn mind if he thinks I'm paying $699.00 BEFORE TAX for a telephone. It's cheaper to string some cans together and throw them to the people I want to talk to.

Let us not forget that I'm already on iPod number five. At $300 a pop, he's already in my pocket. The Macbook (which I love dearly) was 1500 and now he wants the last few pennies in my pocket. No sir!

So after running the "just be patient" course for three and a half years, I trip a month away from the finish line and the best that Steven Jobs can offer is $700 plus 6.5% sales tax, $30 bucks for a case, $30 for a screen protector, $30 for a phone charger and $8 a  month for insurance...not to mention the $30 data plan. You know what Steve-O...kiss my ass.