Scandal Recap

Just like it was with The Game and Grey's Anatomy, I can tell what's popular on TV by checking Facebook statuses. It's kinda like watching a flock of birds. Right before a thunderstorm, there was a surge of statuses about someone named Huck. Close up the shutters because Scandal's on.

One of my friends tried to get me to watch it last year, but after looking at only one commercial I surmised that it was for women. A year went by and twenty seven women tweeted "OMG Fitz" and "Huck was set up" and I felt reassured that it wasn't for me. Then I found myself over the same friend's house about a month ago and, as soon as we walked through the door, she handed me an iPad. "Don't say anything, just watch this."

So the first thing I see is a bunch of people getting out of a limo to go to some gala or something. BAM! Some Asian lady gets shot. (internal dialogue: "Damn.") BAM! Some man gets shot. ("Is that a sniper?") BAM! Some other lady gets shot. "Holy shit! What is this?" I said that part out loud. She told me it was Scandal. If they'd put this in the commercials, I would've started watching it a long time ago.

With all that's happened in recent weeks it's very dangerous to write about my enjoyment of violence on television, particularly gun violence. I like it when it's fake, but not when it's real. (This CYA brought to you by, Ordaleco!) Anyway, the next few scenes involved some talk about rigging an election (Where have I heard that before?) and the main character sleeping with the President. I'm guessing one of those is the scandal. I enjoyed how Kerry Washington's character acknowledged the parallel between Jefferson and Sally Hemings.

I still wasn't certain that it was the show for me. I gave it another episode. Grey's Anatomy tricked me like that once. Somebody blew up inside a hospital and I was on board then the next show was nothing but people staring at each other teary eyed for 42 minutes. The next episode was even colder. I don't have any background on these people, but I'm assuming Huck is like a mentally challenged GI Joe/Jason Bourne type who stalks this random family for a sense of normalcy.

He meets some woman in AA or somewhere and she turns out to be a spy and sets him up for the president's assassination. Then the two of them decide to shack up. He changes his mind and tries to turn her in, so she murders the whole family of people that he likes and leaves a recording of him trying to set her up. <Insert Rick James> "That was coldblooded!" They had a new fan.

Then came yesterday. After being off for a few weeks for Christmas, I was eager to see what they'd blow up or shoot next. Nothing. They tortured Huck, but that's about it. Most of it was Kerry Washington running around. Then there was some nonsense about the First Lady and some other guy lying to the world that the President was awake and ready to retake office. It was like Weekend at Bernie's minus the dancing corpse. I think I've been duped.

Yesterday marked the first time I've watched something on TV since I cut the cord. Without DVR, I was forced to sit through commercials. When I think back, I realize that I never saw a single commercial for a pickup truck. That's the easiest way to determine the target demographic for a show. Don't believe me, think back to Oprah. Ever see a commercial for a Ford F150? Did you see a toilet paper commercial? There you go. Last night's commercials were for Quilted Northern, Tampax and cereal.
I've been duped.