My daughter got hungry around 4:30, which is too close to dinner to give her a snack. After our encounter, I decided to jot down my interpretation of the voice that must play inside her head. Here it is, transcribed for your convenience:
I want a cracker.
Go ask Daddy for a cracker.
If Daddy says no, ask again.
If he says no twice, try one more time.
If he says no a third time, wait one minute and ask again.
If he says no the last time, walk to the kitchen and look to see if the crackers are still on the counter.
Come back into the living room and ask for a banana.
When Daddy goes to get the banana, which just happens to be next to the crackers, ask for a cracker.
Refuse the banana at all costs!
Whine.
If whining does not work, command exactly one tear to fall from right eye.
Whine with conviction.
If whining with conviction does not work, go sit in living room.
Ignore impulse to ask for cracker.
Wait two minutes then sit on Daddy's lap.
Say "hug"
Hug Daddy
Stand up, grab Daddy's hand and lead him into the kitchen.
Ignore his statement, "I'll follow you, but you're not getting a cracker."
Push him toward the stove, turn to refrigerator and open refrigerator door.
Say "chicken" and point to raw chicken on bottom shelf.
Wait for Daddy to think that I am really hungry.
Wait for Daddy to gauge his laziness.
Sit on couch and enjoy five crackers and a cup of water as Daddy returns to watching television.
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