You Are Not Alone

I just left Giant where I saw a guy with two little girls. One was about four and the other was about two. He was parked beside me and his open door was blocking me from putting my daughter in the car. He was completely oblivious to my presence as I stood there for about four minutes watching him battle his younger child to get her out of the car.

He tried everything and that little girl screamed "no" at the top of her lungs each time. He offered her stuff, he tried the daddy "bass" voice thing and nothing worked. The older one saw me and must have told him that I was there because he emerged like he was ready to fight a potential kidnapper. When he saw me holding my daughter, he just gave me this look. I can't put it into words, but an entire conversation was held in that one look that we exchanged. He didn't have to apologize for blocking me in, I wasn't judging him for not being able to control his child and I had his back if the children banded together and tried a mutiny.

Eventually he got them both out and walked toward the store where another struggle began. That little one began slapping the hell out of him as he tried to put her in the shopping cart. After he got her in the cart he just put his head down on the handle of the cart. He didn't say anything to either one of them and he didn't move for a good thirty seconds. I think he had a mild breakdown. It made me smile. Not because I like to see other people suffer, but because it is comforting to realize that I'm not alone out here.

Sometimes you feel like you're failing this gig. It seems like no matter how much you read and plan and try to give your best, you just keep fucking up left and right. But when you see another person out there with kids have a small nervous breakdown in the parking lot, you realize that you're still par for the course. And that is very reassuring. I'm starting to realize that if you aren't stressed the hell out from time to time, then you're not trying hard enough.