I'm watching the Olympics and there are sports being played that I don't think should be sports. Let me say ahead of time that I am a nobody and I haven't competed in anything at all since the 11th grade. Still, I'm entitled to my opinion so this what I think:
First I don't know who the hell came up with water polo, but anywhere else that shit would be called attempted murder. How the hell they get people to sign up for sanctioned drownings is a mystery to me, but you won't catch me doing it.
Second, I was extremely disappointed by the shooting competition. I've always been fascinated with guns ever since I was a little kid and I guess I was expecting more of an "urban" version of the competition. I can understand that there may be some liability issues with having them shoot at each other, but I think that would be much more entertaining. I don't know what I was expecting, but the uber-nerd standing there with the glasses with the blinders on and all the mess hooked up to the gun to help them just seemed extra. I would've rather seen them just stand there and play Area 51 or Time Crisis.
Judo was disappointing, more like wrestling.
Indoor Cycling is pretty interesting. I can't figure out who the hell came up with that, nor do I truly understand what I witnessed in the "Pursuit cycling," but it was fun. Seems like something a poor person made up who couldn't go outside to play.
Let's see, in the "That's an Olympic sport?" category we have Badminton and Table Tennis.
Archery gets absolutely no respect from me. I was expecting something more along the lines of Lord of the Rings or Robin Hood, not those rifle looking bows with guides and sights on them. Seems like cheating. Legolas could hit that target by just throwing the arrow.
How did I not know that jumping on a trampoline was an Olympic event? I would've trained for that shit years ago. I would've put so many miles on this Sealy Posturepedic. And you know fat people would have an advantage. I might not ever come back down.
Equestrian and fencing are severely outdated. They should either make the horses race or scrap them in favor of a street race with cars. Fencing should switch to machetes or meat cleavers, something a little more risky. They can tie their arms together and make em fight to the tune of "Beat It" for all I care. I just feel like if you're having a blade fight, getting cut should be a possibility.
And then I have my own Olympic Event in mind. I've been saying this for years and I may have even written it on this very blog in the past. I think there should be an event where they take eight of the world's fastest and strongest and give them backpacks full of money. Let's say a cool million in cash. Then they should dump them in the worst part of town of the host city and tell everyone where they are and what they look like. The first one to make it back to Olympic Stadium with the money gets a gold medal.
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