Matinee

No spoilers, I promise.

I went to see The Cabin In The Woods over the weekend and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Somehow I missed every trailer and article about the film so I had zero clue what it was about. I only looked it up because Parris and Jay on the Remember When podcast suggested it. My enjoyment is the synergy that resulted from two factors: It was a decent B-movie and (most importantly) I only paid $6 to see it.

I didn't even know they still did matinees in DC under ten bucks. Of course you have to go before noon to get that price and most theaters try to be slick and show the first film at 12:05. Since I can't have my way and return to the glory days when a movie ticket and a McDonald's Extra Value Meal cost the same price, I'm gonna try and overthrow the system by going completely left field with something.

What if all movies fell under a fee schedule? I mean think about it, there is no reason that I have to pay the same $16 bucks to see Mission Impossible 4 and Chronicle. One cost $145 million to make while the other had a scant $12 million budget. I wouldn't pay the same for a stuffed chicken breast from Ruth's Chris Steakhouse as I would a spicy chicken breast from Popeyes. I think the cost of the ticket should be proportional to the budget. The Cabin In The Woods cost $30 million so $6 seems about right.

Like I said, I enjoyed the movie. I got my six bucks worth and then some, so they should have a tip jar near the exit. I'd drop an extra two bucks in there. That could go to the gaffers, key grips, foley artists and all of the other random technicians who don't get any recognition until the bottom of the credits when everyone is walking out. Maybe ticket sales wouldn't be declining so badly if they had a realistic grip on demand side economics.

That will never happen, so until then I'll just wait for everything to go to Redbox. Every movie is good when it only costs $1.59.