The Ground Moved. Nobody Bothered It. It Just Moved.

My daughter was asleep on the living room floor and I was in the bedroom playing my 360. The bed shook and it felt weird but I told myself that it was just someone moving furniture or doing some work on the vacant apartment next door. My nigganess didn't completely buy that, so I was trying to imagine what kind of equipment would shake my bed from the other side of the wall and then the bed shook some more like the floor was wobbling. The TV shook and I noticed the blinds swaying.

Activate Inner Nigga

I don't remember putting down the controller. I don't remember moving the nachos out of the way. All I know is that I ran to the living room, scooped up my daughter, got dressed, grabbed her some Gerber food, filled a sippy cup with water, grabbed my wallet and keys and ran for the elevator. All of this happened before the controller hit the floor.

Now an earthquake never entered my mind. I live in Washington, DC. When was the last time you ever heard of an earthquake hitting DC? I thought it was either the ghost of Bin Laden blowing some shit up downtown or my building collapsing. Because I was moving at Last Dragon speeds my brain perceived time completely differently. I figured that I must have been moving around the apartment so fast that I was somehow moving faster than the building could collapse around me.

I thought about 9/11 and how those people crowded the stairwells and died in the WTC so I made the (probably stupid) decision to take the elevator. I got outside and someone told me it was an earthquake. I really hauled ass to the car then. Somehow standing in front of a highrise full of glass picture windows during an earthquake seemed...risky. I hopped in the car and drove a few blocks while trying to call--anyone.

No answer from the wife, no answer from my friends so I drove downtown to go find my baby. I did all kinds of illegal shit to make it through traffic, but I got to her job and found several thousand people outside crowding the streets. I found her like Will Smith in Independence Day and we got back in the car and got the hell away from downtown.

Now I'm watching all of the people on the news sitting in traffic trying to get home.

Hell of a day.