Freedom Taxes

Well, I just mailed off my taxes and I feel $400 lighter. I know I'm in the minority here but I have no issue with paying taxes. I consider taxes to be my Freedom Payment...kinda like an electric bill or something. Every year something happens to make me happy to pay taxes again. This year it was Egypt and Libya. They shoot people over there. Yeah I know, they shoot people here too, but it's so much different. If you get caught up in a drive by or the police unload a clip on you, then more than likely the bullet that does you in will be a 9mm. Over there though...AK-47s, grenades, missles, roadside bombs, etc. Who the hell wants to live in a place where preschoolers are playing Call of Duty in real life?

Let's say you don't get shot over there. It's a fucking desert! What the hell do you do for fun--play let's not die from dehydration? People fight for the craziest shit over there, like food. The last time I fought for a meal was at McDonald's when the lady swore to me that the 99 cent Filet-o-Fish special had ended even though the commercial clearly said it was extended. That's the kinda fight I want in my life. I want to be on the verge of divorce because my wife didn't put enough sugar in my Kool-Aid. I don't want a civil rights debate. I'm sorry, but we have America exactly the way we want it now. It took a few wars, some marches and such but now it's just right. It's not totally negro friendly, but lynching is technically illegal. There's still poverty but the average person just has to contend with the projects (a tall shelter with running water, electricity and the occasional bullet coming through a window), racial profiling (cops harassing you versus trampling you while riding through the a middle eastern city that looks a lot like Aladdin's Agraba on horseback a la the dark haired dude from The Mummy) and drugs (things that cause the people who sell and use them to die unlike the car bombs that just kill everyone walking by).

So I paid my Freedom Payment this year and I'll be damn glad to do it next year.