And It's Done.

And it is done.

I woke up three times last night from the extreme sensation that someone was sitting on my chest while simultaneously strangling me and pouring flour up my nose. Headache, sinus infection, something that feels like strep throat, and this tightness in my chest...those are the major symptoms. Dizziness, nausea, and the other stuff are riding the bench on the team that's trying to beat me down. I guess you can call it stress. I'm built for it, so I just call it Thursday.

It got really bad though during my grandmother's eulogy. I spent most of the week trying to figure out what to say. I didn't know how to sum up her life, but I knew I had to say something. As the time got closer and the line of people got shorter, I knew I had to come up with something...so I just winged it. People kept saying how nice and friendly she was. One person even said, "She always had a pleasant remark." I lost it at that point. How dare they take my grandmother's name in vain. lol

I got up and said that I understood why they said what they did. It was the house of the Lord after all. Still, I felt they were doing a disservice however well intentioned. Talking about Louise Allen without mentioning "Grandma" was like talking about Clark Kent without mentioning Superman. She was Superman to me, and Grandma was not nice. Grandma did not mince words, and she would tell you about yourself through a tongue that was so sharp it could cut down a mountain.

I told a few stories, the same ones that I've already told on here. People laughed, people clapped, and then I sat down. The stress wasn't completely gone, but I put a few of its players on injured reserved. I felt better after I left the cemetery. I even started laughing at one point and played the last voicemail that I still have on my phone through the speakerphone. It was of her saying that she may not answer when I call her, but she's still around and to come on by. Even out of context, it still fit the circumstance. That relieved even more stress. Still, not all of it...but enough.

Enough to immediately leave the funeral and break open my shirt to reveal my own "S" on my chest. I had parent orientation at my daughter's new school an hour after the funeral. I went there, then back to the gathering at my mother's house. Tomorrow...chaperoning a trip to the zoo for my daughter's last day in daycare. Then it's all about her this weekend as I try to ease the transition to her new school...Next week, we're on half-day schedule so I'm doing drop off and picking right back up 3 hours later. Then on to cleaning my grandmother's house out some more (I have to sell it).

Rest? Sleep?

I'll try to squeeze it in around October.