The Avengers comes out at midnight tonight and I'll be first in line to see it. It's like two and a half hours long so I won't get home until like three, but it's cool. I don't mind missing out on sleep if the movie is as good as people say it is.
I'm sorry, where are my manners? I meant to italicize the above statement. That's what the "me" in an alternate universe is saying right now to his friends. You remember that guy, right? I wrote about him a while back. It's "Childless Me" who has the superpower of doing whatever the hell he wants whenever he wants (He's not as powerful as "Wifeless Me" from Parallel Universe #3, but I digress).
Yeah, I'm sure that guy's gonna have a great time tonight. He'll probably be there with all his non-diaper/non-Gerber/non-baby's-health-insurance-premium appropriated money buying out the concession stand like the baller that he is. Meanwhile in this world, our hero will be donning his unibomber hoodie lined with chips, a Sprite, Wildberry Skittles and Reeses Pieces as he goes to the matinee on Sunday when the movie is only six dollars.
It's not just about the money though. I can make peace with spending it on a good movie. I can't stand to part ways with the more valuable commodity...sleep! Every morning as the sun comes up and the wife gets ready to leave me with the child I find myself laying in bed thinking about all the organs I'd be willing to sell for just two more hours of sleep. I can't bring myself to give up 3 hours of sleep just to watch a movie. I can't do it...at least not in this world. Darkwing Baby (the terror that flaps in the night) would kill me the next day.
So I raise my glass to all those people who can... in this world and the next.
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