My wife always tells me that I should be a writer--not because I'm grammatically correct or because I write beautiful ballads but because I do it all the time. Like, seriously all the time. I write on the back of bus transfers, grocery receipts, journals...whatever. Why is it then that I have so much trouble keeping this blog up to date? Two things:
1) Even though I know my grammar sucks, I still try to be a perfectionist within the scope of my own ability.
2) I might need to get a job in the future.
Number one is straight forward. I have maybe a hundred "drafts" saved for this site and I don't like any of them enough to hit "publish." I type about 95-100 words a minute, so imagine my wife's frustration in seeing me hit "select all" and then delete on a 500 word post. There's something about not wanting to publish something that I think sucks or is too preachy, even if it is just a blog with one or two followers.
Number two is more complicated...sadly. I think people are "special." You can't say "retarded" anymore so we'll go with special. The same reason that people lose their jobs over their Twitter and Facebook updates is the same reason that I feel like I have to censor myself on a semi-anonymous blog. The world is so screwed that we expect everyone to be publicly correct even in their personal lives.
Who knows when I'll need a job and they'll turn to Google and say, "five years ago you said that a woman you passed on the street looked like Sheer Khan from The Jungle Book. Do you hate women?" I gotta figure something out though. It sucks not being able to express your thoughts on your own damn web site. Maybe I'll just say screw it and be myself. Sincerity sells, right?
Totally and completely. Look at Amy Winehouse. She's on something, but as you can see she's not afraid to show everyone. She still selling records.
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