I Want to Know What Love Is. I Want You to Show Me

I heard an old song today. It went like this:

I want to know what love is. I want you to show me.

I can tell you what love is. Love is walking to your car from the mall with a stroller and asking your two year old if she has to use the bathroom only to hear crickets chirping, and then, as you're strapping her into the carseat, you feel a slight moisture on her pants, which then prompts you to ask again only to get a complete 180 of an answer in the form of a scream of "Potty Time, Let's Go!!!" that forces you to think quickly on your feet, by which you psych the child out by laughing and making her think that your full speed sprint through the parking lot and back into Macy's is some form of game, one that includes knocking an old woman out of the way at the first counter that you see and asking the clerk "Where is your bathroom" as your child joins in the fun and starts passing gas audibly loud while yelling "Potty!" which lends authenticity to your plea for assistance and garners the sympathy and forgiveness of the elderly woman whom you nearly knocked to the ground as you scurry along to the bathroom which the clerk failed mention was a women's restroom which would help your two year old if she wasn't two, but unfortunately she is, so you have to make a quick decision of whether or not to try and find the men's room or violate several ethical norms by yelling "Man coming in with two year old who has to pee and can't hold it!" which you wouldn't expect to be met with such a calm response as, "Well, there's two women in here," and even after you say, "Well I'll keep my eyes closed" they don't run out screaming, instead choosing to just continue about their business and so you plop your kid down on the first toilet you see not really noticing until after you leave that the women's room had a lounge chair in it where the urinals would normally be in a men's room, which is odd, but whatever, and you leave out of the bathroom after your child finishes dispensing what seemed like a gallon's worth of fluid and you go home and think to yourself, "She'll never remember this" and then you hear a song saying, "I want to know what love is. I want you to show me" and then you remember what you just did and you say, "I guess that's what love is."