Testify

You accuse me of a, please let me testify
You accuse me of a, you accuse me of a
Please let me testify
Before you lock my love away...

If you were in Giant at 7pm last night, you no doubt witnessed what you think was bad parenting. There was a handsome 5'7 lad with a 3'4 kid in tow. The kid was crying and saying she was hungry. She was begging for things that would make the average parent cheer with delight: apples, bananas, rutabagas. You might have even heard her say "Ow, help me. My eye hurts." After watching the guy, let's call him "Me" for simplicity's sake, ignore her and walk out, you probably said to yourself, "He's a horrible parent."

You accuse me of a..., please let me testify
Before you lock my love away...

If you'd been a fly on the wall 5 minutes earlier at 6:55, you would've seen her screaming outside the Giant saying that her eye hurt. You would've witnessed me scrambling to check her eye as I tried to keep her from making it worse with her Metro-germ-lined fingers. At 6:55 you would've seen me running full speed with her in my arms into the Giant and heading for the bathroom to wash her eye out.

But that still wouldn't help your opinion of me at 7pm as you saw me walking out of the store and ignoring her as she continued to scream that her eye was hurting.

Please let me testify. You accuse me of a...

You had to be with us on the train about 30 minutes earlier around 6:30. You might have noticed it, but I sure as hell didn't catch it. I have a great memory, but it's more of a long term storage thing. I can tell you what happened 3 years ago, but not three minutes ago. It takes a major event to jog the short-term memory.

So if you'd been there at 6:30, then maybe you would've realized right away the correlation between that moment and 25 minutes later at 6:55 after I'd run full speed into Giant searching for the bathroom as my "frantic" child screamed and held her eye.

6:55pm- "My eye hurts. Help me. My eye. [screaming and holding eye]
6:30pm- Her: "Can we go to Giant?"
Me:  "Not today. I don't need anything from there."
Her: "Can we have Cookie Dough Ice Cream?"
Me: "No, you can't eat that everyday. You had it yesterday. No ice cream today."
Her: [crying]
Me: "Sit back and stop whining. I said no."

6:55pm- [On the walk home, passing Giant] "My eye hurts. Help me. My eye. [screaming and holding eye]
Me: Okay, keep your eye closed. Let's run in Giant and find the bathroom. I'll wash your eye out. Don't touch your eye!
Her: "Ow, ow, ow, the agony, woe is me, vision is fading, blindness is imminent."

6:59pm-Me: We're almost there. Keep your eye closed.
Her: [Both eyes wide open] Can we have cookie dough ice cream?
Me: ...

I turned around, and walked out as she began proclaiming how hungry she was. She began yelling for anything she saw that would keep me in the store. As I walked out, I was tried and convicted of bad parenting by a jury of my peers.

[In my head I heard the last verse of Common's song, Testify]
Common:

The court awaited as the foreman got the verdict from the bailiff

Emotional outbursts tears and smeared makeup

He stated, he was guilty on all charges

She's shaking looking like she took it the hardest

A spin artist, she brought her face up laughing

That's when the prosecutor realized what happened

All that speaking her mind, testifying and crying

When this [kid] did the crime, the queenpin